Others prefer my new quilt!
Our babies are super spoild these days. We are up to our neck in snow and it does not want to stop yet, so Buck and Spitz spend most of the days and all of the nights inside.
Neither of them complains about it.
Since the pups are inside a lot during this raging winter,
Lou and Annamarie gave us the following to be posted very low on our refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs,
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it, making it now your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Racing me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom!
If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine and try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years – canine assistance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog’s butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness to you, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
They live here. You don’t.
If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That’s why they call it “fur”-niture.
We like our pets a lot better than we like most people.
To you, they are animals. To us, they are adopted kids who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don’t speak clearly, and we love them a lot. And they love us...
REMEMBER, DOGS ARE BETTER THAN KIDS BECAUSE THEY
eat less,
don’t ask for money all the time,
are easier to train,
normally come when called,
never ask to drive the car,
don’t hang out with drug using people,
don’t smoke or drink,
don’t want to wear your clothes,
don’t have to buy the latest fashion
don’t need a gazillion dollars for college
Dear Dogs,
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it, making it now your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Racing me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom!
If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine and try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years – canine assistance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog’s butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness to you, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
They live here. You don’t.
If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That’s why they call it “fur”-niture.
We like our pets a lot better than we like most people.
To you, they are animals. To us, they are adopted kids who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don’t speak clearly, and we love them a lot. And they love us...
REMEMBER, DOGS ARE BETTER THAN KIDS BECAUSE THEY
eat less,
don’t ask for money all the time,
are easier to train,
normally come when called,
never ask to drive the car,
don’t hang out with drug using people,
don’t smoke or drink,
don’t want to wear your clothes,
don’t have to buy the latest fashion
don’t need a gazillion dollars for college
and if they get pregnant, you can sell their children…
1 comment:
that's pretty funny! and I like your new hair, very cute :)
Since we are showing our house right now I have to vaccum our living room rug at least 3x a day due to Millie's shedding. That dog leaves hair everywhere! and I can't wait until we can go back to just laughing about it instead of complusively vaccuming it!
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